There was something I was hoping I could... poke your mind about.
[Her voice has gravity to it, though not enough to bring the mood down in the slightest. Just enough of an indication that she's got things on her mind that she'd like to get off of it—something she's been thinking a lot about—and Aerith is the only person she trusts with this. The one she trusts would give her the most honest answers...]
After that, we can have all the pillow fights we want. But we did promise info for info, so don't think you're off the hook so easy, either!
[Aerith's chipper demeanour lessens only in slight, just enough that it can offer some reassurance that she's listening very intently. She offers a slow nod, reaching over for exactly two pieces of meat and one piece of cheese. She's sure she'll be doing that more than a few times through the course of their night together.]
Ohhhh, you remembered that. I'll have to steel myself for it.
[Settling back, she loops an arm over the sofa thoughtfully.]
What's on your mind? You know you can talk with me about anything. Even if I can't fix it, I can at least listen.
There's clear trepidation about broaching the subject, Tifa shifting in her seat as she nibbles on the corner of a piece of cheese, mulling over how she'd prefer to, or if it's a good idea at all. But there's only one other person she figures would understand her feelings on the matter besides the man himself, and this seemed the perfect opportunity to open up about it at last.
That's what girl's nights are for, aren't they?
And if she's going to get past whatever self-inflicted hurdle she's put herself behind and move past it to more exciting, happier things to talk about, then at least saying it out loud might help.]
It's about Cloud.
[She begins there, pausing as if to prepare Aerith for it when in reality, she's preparing herself.]
[Aerith adjusts how she sits on the couch, crossing her legs and after a long reach, she takes her cocoa into hand and simply holds it. Tifa could ask her any number of things, truthfully and as such, she isn't sure what she ought to be prepared for. Could be something about home. Could be something about what Aerith knows and ought not to know. It's difficult to say.
The trepidation is not one-sided by any means. But it ends relatively quickly. Tifa makes mention of Cloud and Aerith finds herself sitting up just a tad straighter.]
Hm...
[Her head tilts thoughtfully.]
Has he made contact with you at all since you've been here? I saw him a little bit ago when he was sick because you know how he is. Not taking care of himself. So I made him some soup and brought it to his place. If there's anyone worth worrying about, it'd definitely be him.
[And he was sick? Try as she might, there's no hiding the concern that flickers fiercely across her face, and she drops her gaze to her hands on her lap. There's a reason she's bringing him up first, and it isn't just because she misses him, or worries about him, but... she'll get there.]
He hasn't, no. I figured... if he knew I was here, he'd come find me, but I know it's not easy trying to find people in this place. Especially if they don't want to be found.
[ ... ]
I did see him say something on the network, you know. [Tifa begins to fidget, her voice gone quiet.] But... I was too afraid to say anything back. I didn't know what to say.
[So, better she just didn't at all. Right?
There's another pause, before she peers up to Aerith.]
[Which is how all of her moments with Cloud have been. She hasn't been able to pinpoint exactly what's going on, but she's almost certain he's been avoiding her. She doesn't press the situation because she understands he's seen some stuff, even not having the details of whatever that 'stuff' is, but it's been very, very different from the Cloud she's ever come to know.
That he hasn't made much effort to contact a woman who was his childhood friend and seemingly very close to him only adds to what Aerith feels is a little uncharacteristic of him. The alternative, that they weren't as close as they seemed, is worse, though. Either way, Aerith doesn't actually address either of those things. She doesn't want to upset Tifa if she can help it.]
Hm... The same Cloud.
[She settles for taking in a long drink from her cocoa, which serves as the perfect means to stall for time.]
Mmmmm. Not really, no. I don't know what's going on with him. He's pretty avoidant when it comes to me. I'm sure he's got lots of thoughts up in his head, but whoever he is, he's not the Cloud I knew back in Midgar. I do know that apparently he was in a different world than this one before coming to Camelot and I'm going to guess that whatever he experienced in that world changed him.
[Lifting her shoulders in a shrug, she shakes her head.]
[Her voice is quiet, and Tifa mirrors Aerith's motions with her own sip of her cocoa. She appreciates these beats of silence—they give her some time to mull over her thoughts on the matter, and to form the right questions. She doesn't want to be upset about it, or even appear to be, but it's been hard, and it only gets more difficult by the day. Tifa tells herself not to dwell on it, but... Cloud is still Cloud, and there's no one and nothing in any world that could replace him.
It's not easy to simply set it all aside after all these years.]
I guess we've all changed a little after being here, huh? Lots of things have changed.
[Including him. Tifa should be okay with it, but it would be an utter lie to say that she was. There were already so many differences from what she knew and remembered, and the fact that Aerith has even said that he wasn't the same doesn't do much to put her at ease. So, she shakes her head.
Maybe one day, she'll find him and tell him all of this, and ask him the questions that she's held onto since coming to Camelot and hearing of it at first. Until then...]
I'm sorry. I didn't want to bring the mood down. It's just... [She heaves a sigh.] Every single day, it feels like that life gets farther away from me. From all of us...
[There's a ghost of a smile in her eyes as she watches the froth over her cocoa bubble and steam.]
Not that it's a bad thing. A lot's happened since I got here that I don't know if you know...
[Aerith can't deny that either as much as she'd like to be able to. It's almost kind of uncomfortable when she starts thinking about it in that light. She doesn't expect everything to be predictable, but to come from a situation where she's felt like she had a little more insight as to what's been going on to go into a different one where it's like every day's an adventure...
Those are two very different things. Hasn't she always wanted adventure, though? She can't help but wonder in the prominent present what she really wants.
Fortunately, Tifa pulls her right back to the present.]
No, no. You shouldn't apologise. You're asking questions I've been asking myself for quite a while. I haven't really been able to find the answers, so it just leaves me thinking about it a lot and not really knowing what to make out of any of it.
[She shakes her head, taking another long drink.]
I think... that it's a little scary when we start travelling toward something that's unfamiliar. Things aren't what we're used to. Part of me is excited. Thrilled. There's also parts of me that are nervous and afraid. I don't always wear any of that on the outside, but I think about it all the time. Every day, I'm pretty sure. That aside—
[Aerith lifts her eyebrows curiously.]
I probably don't know. I try not to pry too much into whatever you've got going on. We're friends and I want to protect you, but I also don't want to be overbearing. I've always thought if there was something you really needed to get off your chest, you'd say something. Or... you just needed time to say it. I'm not so different from that either.
[It's probably for the best that she draws Aerith back to the present. It's not exactly a topic she wants to broach too much on a night where they're supposed to have fun, because reminiscing about the past while they're here isn't. There have been a lot of things weighing on Tifa's mind, but hearing Aerith say all of that... it helps. It helps to know that she isn't alone in being scared, or worried, or that she's the only one asking all those questions.
Things would fall back into place when they are meant to, and they would all return home once this is over, but for now... It would be hypocritical of her to not follow the advice she begged Aerith to listen to only a month or two ago, wouldn't it?]
I guess I asked because...
[Tifa's voice falls away, the words not coming to her so easily as she'd hoped.]
Cloud's important to me... [Really important. There really aren't any words to describe it. At least, not things she'd rather say out loud to Aerith, or anyone for that matter. Not even herself, at the moment.] But...
[She glances sideways at Aerith and stuffs a piece of cheese in her mouth to chew.]
Mmm. When you and Balthier got together, what was it like?
Aerith's realised that relatively quickly. It's not taken much to understand there's some kind of... crush? Infatuation? Those words might be too simple to describe whatever may be there between them. She doesn't ask for details. It's not really her place. She thinks on it some moments longer and Tifa's question about her and Balthier, she pauses rather abruptly.
What is Tifa really asking there?]
Uhm!
[Tilting her head thoughtfully, Aerith taps her fingertips against her cup.]
It... wasn't planned. At all. I think we both kind of thought we were kidding? And then at some point, it wasn't... kidding anymore. And by the time we realised that, things had already happened, things were already happening, and that was... that?
[Knitting her eyebrows together, Aerith shakes her head, clearing her throat a tad.] I think what really happened was that we're very alike in some ways and we tease. I called his bluff. He... was probably calling mine. It definitely wasn't like a child's storybook. That's for sure.
[Seeing Aerith pause and the way her brows furrow, she wonders if she overstepped. Or if she should have asked a different question... but Aerith answers, and Tifa probably shouldn't be laughing about it... alas, here she is, a small giggle echoing into her cup when she feels a heat rise in her cheeks. Could be from the steam of the cocoa, or...]
That's how it goes, isn't it...
[Briefly, she also wonders if this is just a symptom of being in a place like this. Where things just happen.]
One second, you aren't and the next, you are, and neither of you really know how it happened or when.
[Why is she being so cryptic? This is dumb, but finding the words to bring it up is still proving more difficult than she planned. Tifa wants to tell Aerith, and wants to share some good news with her after that...]
We can't help it, I guess. You find someone you click with and it all just falls into place.
[At first, Aerith has no idea how Tifa might take any of that. She doesn't even know what to think when Tifa begins to laugh. After a few moments of consideration, she replays those words back, however, and eventually she starts to laugh, too.]
It is what it is. I try to overthink it sometimes and I guess I can't do that with everything.
[She leans over from where she's seated to put her cup down in favour of reaching for some of the food from the tray she's minimally prepared.]
It'd be great to think we were in control of everything, but that's not very realistic, I don't think. Besides, if we could control everything, including who we clicked with or who we didn't click with, it wouldn't be as much an adventure. We can't have the answers to everything, after all.
[The other part is that if they did know who they were going to click with, it'd be too easy to try and fight that. Even without knowing how things would go with her and Balthier, she still tried to fight it. She would have fought even harder if she'd known about it from the beginning.]
[Maybe that's the problem. Maybe that's where Tifa keeps going wrong—she keeps trying to find an answer for every little thing that she does, and tries to come up with a good enough reason to make herself feel better about her actions, and for who? For her? That only made it harder to live in the moment, which is what she's been trying to do, with some success.
All that advice that she spouted at Aerith, and not even she could handle listening to it herself sometimes.
But that's enough thinking about that. Leaning forward slightly, Tifa curls her knees up to her chest, and her chin rests on top of them, and she stares at Aerith from across the couch.
They did all of this to have a girl's night in, and so that's exactly what it's going to be, all of her doubts and reservations be damned.]
[Aerith polishes off exactly one piece of meat and another piece of cheese before she finds herself leaning forward onto her hands, as if she's prepared for some grand secret. Given the subject material, it might as well be something like it. Now, Aerith has suspected that Tifa had gotten herself involved in a similar situation as her own, though at the time it was only an inkling.
Hearing it somewhat confirmed only tickles her curiosity.]
Go onnnnn. What are they like? Anyone I know? Cute? Funny? Come on, you know I need all the details.
[Because she's also suspecting it very much isn't Cloud.]
[Well, it is a grand secret. Tifa hasn't exactly been coming home much as of late or has shown up in the mornings wearing the same clothes that she wore the night before... Granted, if anyone had been paying attention, they might have been able to piece it together, but she's been very careful to not be noticed.
Of course, all of Aerith's guesses draw an embarrassing snort of laughter out of her that she drowns in some cheese, pausing to chew for a bit of a dramatic effect and suspense, but also to find the right words to describe him. Only to realize... there are no words to properly describe someone like Eustace, who reminds her so much of Cloud... but it feels silly to make that comparison now.]
I don't think you know him, but... uh...
[God, this is... becoming harder than she thought it would be. This should have been so easy—Aerith is her best friend! Or maybe that's why it's so difficult. Of all of the people in any world, she seeks her approval the most.]
You don't know a Eustace, do you? Little bit aloof, lone wolf type... [She raises her hands to her head to mimic a pair of ears, and the colour in her cheeks darkens.] Has a set of wolf ears...
[This seems like the easiest place to start. If she does know him, then great! If not, then... well, at least she has a few more seconds of leeway.]
[Given the description given, Aerith would remember a young man with wolf ears. There's been no exact shortage of uncommon physical accents on people. Fenton comes to mind immediately, though he's a bit more on the extreme side of things, she supposes. Science duck? Man with wolf ears? These two things may not be best suited for comparison.
The rest of what she says, however, tells Aerith that Tifa has a type. She doesn't say this. Doesn't feel like that's the most sensitive thing to say, but that seems to be the way of it. Tifa does things with intention, and as such, it can't be uncanny coincidence.]
No. I definitely don't know anyone with that name. Or the wolf ear thing.
[Tifa's brows arch up, and after a moment of exchanging a look with Aerith, she drops her gaze.]
That's the thing...
[Is it? She'd like to think so, but there was something else to consider on top of all of that. Something in common that loomed over them all in this place that she can't quite seem to shake off.]
I guess that's why I asked about you and Balthier. Everything here is so temporary, so... I don't know.
[She rolls her shoulders in a small, almost defeated shrug.]
I think so... I'd like it to be, but I guess that's something we all have to keep in mind.
Aerith feels her chest tighten. She feels that intensely. More than she'd like to. There's no getting away from it. Even in moments when she's pretending that she's not overthinking that very point, it's always there—a nagging voice in the back of her mind. She is reminded constantly that she can't allow herself to be completely taken in by this... charade of a 'domesticated' life. It won't come true.
It doesn't surprise her at all to know that Tifa feels something similar. At least, so it would seem she does. For several moments, she isn't sure how to respond to that, but a quiet sip of her cocoa and a clear of the throat later, and Aerith is ready to attempt tackling this challenge.]
If it's something you want, don't you owe it to yourself to chase after it? If you hold yourself back from the things you want, it's not really living. I don't think this is something that would hurt other people, so it'd be hard for me to tell you not to do it. After all, I want you to be happy. Who says you have to be in Midgard to be happy?
[She shakes her head.] If you feel strongly for this guy, make sure he knows it. Own it.
[The words echo loud and clear in her head, as if it was only yesterday that she was begging Aerith to do the same. To find happiness regardless of how short their time might be here, because it was what she deserved. That they would be wasting away their days if they sat and thought about how fickle the world can be... It's easier said than done when she doesn't have to worry about it—Tifa knew that all of the people most important to her would be there when she returned home. Cloud, Aerith, Red, and Barret... They would be at her side as if nothing changed.
But now?
She thinks she can understand—even just a little bit—what Aerith was feeling.]
I'll try... [There's a beat of silence that follows, and Tifa sips on her cocoa.] It's a little scary.
Maybe not word-for-word, but... It was pretty close, Tifa.
[Which is true. Tifa's reassuring has continued to stay in Aerith's mind. She's had to keep it there because every time she starts to think about closing herself off again, she knows it wouldn't take much for her to withdraw. And that would... do absolutely no one any good. It's not easy. Every single day it's a struggle, and Aerith suspects Tifa gets that, too.]
And you're right. It is scary. But... think about it this way.
[Aerith motions between the two of them.] You've got me. You don't have to go through this alone, especially since we're both kind of going through the same thing. [Misery loves company or something like it, though she wouldn't describe anything about her relationship with Balthier as particularly misery-inducing.]
Besides, I've got to meet this guy and make sure that he meets my standards, you know.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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There was something I was hoping I could... poke your mind about.
[Her voice has gravity to it, though not enough to bring the mood down in the slightest. Just enough of an indication that she's got things on her mind that she'd like to get off of it—something she's been thinking a lot about—and Aerith is the only person she trusts with this. The one she trusts would give her the most honest answers...]
After that, we can have all the pillow fights we want. But we did promise info for info, so don't think you're off the hook so easy, either!
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Ohhhh, you remembered that. I'll have to steel myself for it.
[Settling back, she loops an arm over the sofa thoughtfully.]
What's on your mind? You know you can talk with me about anything. Even if I can't fix it, I can at least listen.
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There's clear trepidation about broaching the subject, Tifa shifting in her seat as she nibbles on the corner of a piece of cheese, mulling over how she'd prefer to, or if it's a good idea at all. But there's only one other person she figures would understand her feelings on the matter besides the man himself, and this seemed the perfect opportunity to open up about it at last.
That's what girl's nights are for, aren't they?
And if she's going to get past whatever self-inflicted hurdle she's put herself behind and move past it to more exciting, happier things to talk about, then at least saying it out loud might help.]
It's about Cloud.
[She begins there, pausing as if to prepare Aerith for it when in reality, she's preparing herself.]
I'm worried about him.
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The trepidation is not one-sided by any means. But it ends relatively quickly. Tifa makes mention of Cloud and Aerith finds herself sitting up just a tad straighter.]
Hm...
[Her head tilts thoughtfully.]
Has he made contact with you at all since you've been here? I saw him a little bit ago when he was sick because you know how he is. Not taking care of himself. So I made him some soup and brought it to his place. If there's anyone worth worrying about, it'd definitely be him.
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[And he was sick? Try as she might, there's no hiding the concern that flickers fiercely across her face, and she drops her gaze to her hands on her lap. There's a reason she's bringing him up first, and it isn't just because she misses him, or worries about him, but... she'll get there.]
He hasn't, no. I figured... if he knew I was here, he'd come find me, but I know it's not easy trying to find people in this place. Especially if they don't want to be found.
[ ... ]
I did see him say something on the network, you know. [Tifa begins to fidget, her voice gone quiet.] But... I was too afraid to say anything back. I didn't know what to say.
[So, better she just didn't at all. Right?
There's another pause, before she peers up to Aerith.]
When you saw him, was he... the same Cloud?
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[Which is how all of her moments with Cloud have been. She hasn't been able to pinpoint exactly what's going on, but she's almost certain he's been avoiding her. She doesn't press the situation because she understands he's seen some stuff, even not having the details of whatever that 'stuff' is, but it's been very, very different from the Cloud she's ever come to know.
That he hasn't made much effort to contact a woman who was his childhood friend and seemingly very close to him only adds to what Aerith feels is a little uncharacteristic of him. The alternative, that they weren't as close as they seemed, is worse, though. Either way, Aerith doesn't actually address either of those things. She doesn't want to upset Tifa if she can help it.]
Hm... The same Cloud.
[She settles for taking in a long drink from her cocoa, which serves as the perfect means to stall for time.]
Mmmmm. Not really, no. I don't know what's going on with him. He's pretty avoidant when it comes to me. I'm sure he's got lots of thoughts up in his head, but whoever he is, he's not the Cloud I knew back in Midgar. I do know that apparently he was in a different world than this one before coming to Camelot and I'm going to guess that whatever he experienced in that world changed him.
[Lifting her shoulders in a shrug, she shakes her head.]
I can't think of any other explanations for it.
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[Her voice is quiet, and Tifa mirrors Aerith's motions with her own sip of her cocoa. She appreciates these beats of silence—they give her some time to mull over her thoughts on the matter, and to form the right questions. She doesn't want to be upset about it, or even appear to be, but it's been hard, and it only gets more difficult by the day. Tifa tells herself not to dwell on it, but... Cloud is still Cloud, and there's no one and nothing in any world that could replace him.
It's not easy to simply set it all aside after all these years.]
I guess we've all changed a little after being here, huh? Lots of things have changed.
[Including him. Tifa should be okay with it, but it would be an utter lie to say that she was. There were already so many differences from what she knew and remembered, and the fact that Aerith has even said that he wasn't the same doesn't do much to put her at ease. So, she shakes her head.
Maybe one day, she'll find him and tell him all of this, and ask him the questions that she's held onto since coming to Camelot and hearing of it at first. Until then...]
I'm sorry. I didn't want to bring the mood down. It's just... [She heaves a sigh.] Every single day, it feels like that life gets farther away from me. From all of us...
[There's a ghost of a smile in her eyes as she watches the froth over her cocoa bubble and steam.]
Not that it's a bad thing. A lot's happened since I got here that I don't know if you know...
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[Aerith can't deny that either as much as she'd like to be able to. It's almost kind of uncomfortable when she starts thinking about it in that light. She doesn't expect everything to be predictable, but to come from a situation where she's felt like she had a little more insight as to what's been going on to go into a different one where it's like every day's an adventure...
Those are two very different things. Hasn't she always wanted adventure, though? She can't help but wonder in the prominent present what she really wants.
Fortunately, Tifa pulls her right back to the present.]
No, no. You shouldn't apologise. You're asking questions I've been asking myself for quite a while. I haven't really been able to find the answers, so it just leaves me thinking about it a lot and not really knowing what to make out of any of it.
[She shakes her head, taking another long drink.]
I think... that it's a little scary when we start travelling toward something that's unfamiliar. Things aren't what we're used to. Part of me is excited. Thrilled. There's also parts of me that are nervous and afraid. I don't always wear any of that on the outside, but I think about it all the time. Every day, I'm pretty sure. That aside—
[Aerith lifts her eyebrows curiously.]
I probably don't know. I try not to pry too much into whatever you've got going on. We're friends and I want to protect you, but I also don't want to be overbearing. I've always thought if there was something you really needed to get off your chest, you'd say something. Or... you just needed time to say it. I'm not so different from that either.
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Things would fall back into place when they are meant to, and they would all return home once this is over, but for now... It would be hypocritical of her to not follow the advice she begged Aerith to listen to only a month or two ago, wouldn't it?]
I guess I asked because...
[Tifa's voice falls away, the words not coming to her so easily as she'd hoped.]
Cloud's important to me... [Really important. There really aren't any words to describe it. At least, not things she'd rather say out loud to Aerith, or anyone for that matter. Not even herself, at the moment.] But...
[She glances sideways at Aerith and stuffs a piece of cheese in her mouth to chew.]
Mmm. When you and Balthier got together, what was it like?
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Aerith's realised that relatively quickly. It's not taken much to understand there's some kind of... crush? Infatuation? Those words might be too simple to describe whatever may be there between them. She doesn't ask for details. It's not really her place. She thinks on it some moments longer and Tifa's question about her and Balthier, she pauses rather abruptly.
What is Tifa really asking there?]
Uhm!
[Tilting her head thoughtfully, Aerith taps her fingertips against her cup.]
It... wasn't planned. At all. I think we both kind of thought we were kidding? And then at some point, it wasn't... kidding anymore. And by the time we realised that, things had already happened, things were already happening, and that was... that?
[Knitting her eyebrows together, Aerith shakes her head, clearing her throat a tad.] I think what really happened was that we're very alike in some ways and we tease. I called his bluff. He... was probably calling mine. It definitely wasn't like a child's storybook. That's for sure.
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That's how it goes, isn't it...
[Briefly, she also wonders if this is just a symptom of being in a place like this. Where things just happen.]
One second, you aren't and the next, you are, and neither of you really know how it happened or when.
[Why is she being so cryptic? This is dumb, but finding the words to bring it up is still proving more difficult than she planned. Tifa wants to tell Aerith, and wants to share some good news with her after that...]
We can't help it, I guess. You find someone you click with and it all just falls into place.
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It is what it is. I try to overthink it sometimes and I guess I can't do that with everything.
[She leans over from where she's seated to put her cup down in favour of reaching for some of the food from the tray she's minimally prepared.]
It'd be great to think we were in control of everything, but that's not very realistic, I don't think. Besides, if we could control everything, including who we clicked with or who we didn't click with, it wouldn't be as much an adventure. We can't have the answers to everything, after all.
[The other part is that if they did know who they were going to click with, it'd be too easy to try and fight that. Even without knowing how things would go with her and Balthier, she still tried to fight it. She would have fought even harder if she'd known about it from the beginning.]
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All that advice that she spouted at Aerith, and not even she could handle listening to it herself sometimes.
But that's enough thinking about that. Leaning forward slightly, Tifa curls her knees up to her chest, and her chin rests on top of them, and she stares at Aerith from across the couch.
They did all of this to have a girl's night in, and so that's exactly what it's going to be, all of her doubts and reservations be damned.]
Reason I asked was... I met someone...
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Hearing it somewhat confirmed only tickles her curiosity.]
Go onnnnn. What are they like? Anyone I know? Cute? Funny? Come on, you know I need all the details.
[Because she's also suspecting it very much isn't Cloud.]
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Of course, all of Aerith's guesses draw an embarrassing snort of laughter out of her that she drowns in some cheese, pausing to chew for a bit of a dramatic effect and suspense, but also to find the right words to describe him. Only to realize... there are no words to properly describe someone like Eustace, who reminds her so much of Cloud... but it feels silly to make that comparison now.]
I don't think you know him, but... uh...
[God, this is... becoming harder than she thought it would be. This should have been so easy—Aerith is her best friend! Or maybe that's why it's so difficult. Of all of the people in any world, she seeks her approval the most.]
You don't know a Eustace, do you? Little bit aloof, lone wolf type... [She raises her hands to her head to mimic a pair of ears, and the colour in her cheeks darkens.] Has a set of wolf ears...
[This seems like the easiest place to start. If she does know him, then great! If not, then... well, at least she has a few more seconds of leeway.]
no subject
[Given the description given, Aerith would remember a young man with wolf ears. There's been no exact shortage of uncommon physical accents on people. Fenton comes to mind immediately, though he's a bit more on the extreme side of things, she supposes. Science duck? Man with wolf ears? These two things may not be best suited for comparison.
The rest of what she says, however, tells Aerith that Tifa has a type. She doesn't say this. Doesn't feel like that's the most sensitive thing to say, but that seems to be the way of it. Tifa does things with intention, and as such, it can't be uncanny coincidence.]
No. I definitely don't know anyone with that name. Or the wolf ear thing.
[After a moment's consideration, her head tips.]
This a serious thing?
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That's the thing...
[Is it? She'd like to think so, but there was something else to consider on top of all of that. Something in common that loomed over them all in this place that she can't quite seem to shake off.]
I guess that's why I asked about you and Balthier. Everything here is so temporary, so... I don't know.
[She rolls her shoulders in a small, almost defeated shrug.]
I think so... I'd like it to be, but I guess that's something we all have to keep in mind.
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"Everything here is so temporary."
Aerith feels her chest tighten. She feels that intensely. More than she'd like to. There's no getting away from it. Even in moments when she's pretending that she's not overthinking that very point, it's always there—a nagging voice in the back of her mind. She is reminded constantly that she can't allow herself to be completely taken in by this... charade of a 'domesticated' life. It won't come true.
It doesn't surprise her at all to know that Tifa feels something similar. At least, so it would seem she does. For several moments, she isn't sure how to respond to that, but a quiet sip of her cocoa and a clear of the throat later, and Aerith is ready to attempt tackling this challenge.]
If it's something you want, don't you owe it to yourself to chase after it? If you hold yourself back from the things you want, it's not really living. I don't think this is something that would hurt other people, so it'd be hard for me to tell you not to do it. After all, I want you to be happy. Who says you have to be in Midgard to be happy?
[She shakes her head.] If you feel strongly for this guy, make sure he knows it. Own it.
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That's exactly what I told you to do, huh...?
[The words echo loud and clear in her head, as if it was only yesterday that she was begging Aerith to do the same. To find happiness regardless of how short their time might be here, because it was what she deserved. That they would be wasting away their days if they sat and thought about how fickle the world can be... It's easier said than done when she doesn't have to worry about it—Tifa knew that all of the people most important to her would be there when she returned home. Cloud, Aerith, Red, and Barret... They would be at her side as if nothing changed.
But now?
She thinks she can understand—even just a little bit—what Aerith was feeling.]
I'll try... [There's a beat of silence that follows, and Tifa sips on her cocoa.] It's a little scary.
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[Which is true. Tifa's reassuring has continued to stay in Aerith's mind. She's had to keep it there because every time she starts to think about closing herself off again, she knows it wouldn't take much for her to withdraw. And that would... do absolutely no one any good. It's not easy. Every single day it's a struggle, and Aerith suspects Tifa gets that, too.]
And you're right. It is scary. But... think about it this way.
[Aerith motions between the two of them.] You've got me. You don't have to go through this alone, especially since we're both kind of going through the same thing. [Misery loves company or something like it, though she wouldn't describe anything about her relationship with Balthier as particularly misery-inducing.]
Besides, I've got to meet this guy and make sure that he meets my standards, you know.