Aerith's realised that relatively quickly. It's not taken much to understand there's some kind of... crush? Infatuation? Those words might be too simple to describe whatever may be there between them. She doesn't ask for details. It's not really her place. She thinks on it some moments longer and Tifa's question about her and Balthier, she pauses rather abruptly.
What is Tifa really asking there?]
Uhm!
[Tilting her head thoughtfully, Aerith taps her fingertips against her cup.]
It... wasn't planned. At all. I think we both kind of thought we were kidding? And then at some point, it wasn't... kidding anymore. And by the time we realised that, things had already happened, things were already happening, and that was... that?
[Knitting her eyebrows together, Aerith shakes her head, clearing her throat a tad.] I think what really happened was that we're very alike in some ways and we tease. I called his bluff. He... was probably calling mine. It definitely wasn't like a child's storybook. That's for sure.
[Seeing Aerith pause and the way her brows furrow, she wonders if she overstepped. Or if she should have asked a different question... but Aerith answers, and Tifa probably shouldn't be laughing about it... alas, here she is, a small giggle echoing into her cup when she feels a heat rise in her cheeks. Could be from the steam of the cocoa, or...]
That's how it goes, isn't it...
[Briefly, she also wonders if this is just a symptom of being in a place like this. Where things just happen.]
One second, you aren't and the next, you are, and neither of you really know how it happened or when.
[Why is she being so cryptic? This is dumb, but finding the words to bring it up is still proving more difficult than she planned. Tifa wants to tell Aerith, and wants to share some good news with her after that...]
We can't help it, I guess. You find someone you click with and it all just falls into place.
[At first, Aerith has no idea how Tifa might take any of that. She doesn't even know what to think when Tifa begins to laugh. After a few moments of consideration, she replays those words back, however, and eventually she starts to laugh, too.]
It is what it is. I try to overthink it sometimes and I guess I can't do that with everything.
[She leans over from where she's seated to put her cup down in favour of reaching for some of the food from the tray she's minimally prepared.]
It'd be great to think we were in control of everything, but that's not very realistic, I don't think. Besides, if we could control everything, including who we clicked with or who we didn't click with, it wouldn't be as much an adventure. We can't have the answers to everything, after all.
[The other part is that if they did know who they were going to click with, it'd be too easy to try and fight that. Even without knowing how things would go with her and Balthier, she still tried to fight it. She would have fought even harder if she'd known about it from the beginning.]
[Maybe that's the problem. Maybe that's where Tifa keeps going wrong—she keeps trying to find an answer for every little thing that she does, and tries to come up with a good enough reason to make herself feel better about her actions, and for who? For her? That only made it harder to live in the moment, which is what she's been trying to do, with some success.
All that advice that she spouted at Aerith, and not even she could handle listening to it herself sometimes.
But that's enough thinking about that. Leaning forward slightly, Tifa curls her knees up to her chest, and her chin rests on top of them, and she stares at Aerith from across the couch.
They did all of this to have a girl's night in, and so that's exactly what it's going to be, all of her doubts and reservations be damned.]
[Aerith polishes off exactly one piece of meat and another piece of cheese before she finds herself leaning forward onto her hands, as if she's prepared for some grand secret. Given the subject material, it might as well be something like it. Now, Aerith has suspected that Tifa had gotten herself involved in a similar situation as her own, though at the time it was only an inkling.
Hearing it somewhat confirmed only tickles her curiosity.]
Go onnnnn. What are they like? Anyone I know? Cute? Funny? Come on, you know I need all the details.
[Because she's also suspecting it very much isn't Cloud.]
[Well, it is a grand secret. Tifa hasn't exactly been coming home much as of late or has shown up in the mornings wearing the same clothes that she wore the night before... Granted, if anyone had been paying attention, they might have been able to piece it together, but she's been very careful to not be noticed.
Of course, all of Aerith's guesses draw an embarrassing snort of laughter out of her that she drowns in some cheese, pausing to chew for a bit of a dramatic effect and suspense, but also to find the right words to describe him. Only to realize... there are no words to properly describe someone like Eustace, who reminds her so much of Cloud... but it feels silly to make that comparison now.]
I don't think you know him, but... uh...
[God, this is... becoming harder than she thought it would be. This should have been so easy—Aerith is her best friend! Or maybe that's why it's so difficult. Of all of the people in any world, she seeks her approval the most.]
You don't know a Eustace, do you? Little bit aloof, lone wolf type... [She raises her hands to her head to mimic a pair of ears, and the colour in her cheeks darkens.] Has a set of wolf ears...
[This seems like the easiest place to start. If she does know him, then great! If not, then... well, at least she has a few more seconds of leeway.]
[Given the description given, Aerith would remember a young man with wolf ears. There's been no exact shortage of uncommon physical accents on people. Fenton comes to mind immediately, though he's a bit more on the extreme side of things, she supposes. Science duck? Man with wolf ears? These two things may not be best suited for comparison.
The rest of what she says, however, tells Aerith that Tifa has a type. She doesn't say this. Doesn't feel like that's the most sensitive thing to say, but that seems to be the way of it. Tifa does things with intention, and as such, it can't be uncanny coincidence.]
No. I definitely don't know anyone with that name. Or the wolf ear thing.
[Tifa's brows arch up, and after a moment of exchanging a look with Aerith, she drops her gaze.]
That's the thing...
[Is it? She'd like to think so, but there was something else to consider on top of all of that. Something in common that loomed over them all in this place that she can't quite seem to shake off.]
I guess that's why I asked about you and Balthier. Everything here is so temporary, so... I don't know.
[She rolls her shoulders in a small, almost defeated shrug.]
I think so... I'd like it to be, but I guess that's something we all have to keep in mind.
Aerith feels her chest tighten. She feels that intensely. More than she'd like to. There's no getting away from it. Even in moments when she's pretending that she's not overthinking that very point, it's always there—a nagging voice in the back of her mind. She is reminded constantly that she can't allow herself to be completely taken in by this... charade of a 'domesticated' life. It won't come true.
It doesn't surprise her at all to know that Tifa feels something similar. At least, so it would seem she does. For several moments, she isn't sure how to respond to that, but a quiet sip of her cocoa and a clear of the throat later, and Aerith is ready to attempt tackling this challenge.]
If it's something you want, don't you owe it to yourself to chase after it? If you hold yourself back from the things you want, it's not really living. I don't think this is something that would hurt other people, so it'd be hard for me to tell you not to do it. After all, I want you to be happy. Who says you have to be in Midgard to be happy?
[She shakes her head.] If you feel strongly for this guy, make sure he knows it. Own it.
[The words echo loud and clear in her head, as if it was only yesterday that she was begging Aerith to do the same. To find happiness regardless of how short their time might be here, because it was what she deserved. That they would be wasting away their days if they sat and thought about how fickle the world can be... It's easier said than done when she doesn't have to worry about it—Tifa knew that all of the people most important to her would be there when she returned home. Cloud, Aerith, Red, and Barret... They would be at her side as if nothing changed.
But now?
She thinks she can understand—even just a little bit—what Aerith was feeling.]
I'll try... [There's a beat of silence that follows, and Tifa sips on her cocoa.] It's a little scary.
Maybe not word-for-word, but... It was pretty close, Tifa.
[Which is true. Tifa's reassuring has continued to stay in Aerith's mind. She's had to keep it there because every time she starts to think about closing herself off again, she knows it wouldn't take much for her to withdraw. And that would... do absolutely no one any good. It's not easy. Every single day it's a struggle, and Aerith suspects Tifa gets that, too.]
And you're right. It is scary. But... think about it this way.
[Aerith motions between the two of them.] You've got me. You don't have to go through this alone, especially since we're both kind of going through the same thing. [Misery loves company or something like it, though she wouldn't describe anything about her relationship with Balthier as particularly misery-inducing.]
Besides, I've got to meet this guy and make sure that he meets my standards, you know.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Aerith's realised that relatively quickly. It's not taken much to understand there's some kind of... crush? Infatuation? Those words might be too simple to describe whatever may be there between them. She doesn't ask for details. It's not really her place. She thinks on it some moments longer and Tifa's question about her and Balthier, she pauses rather abruptly.
What is Tifa really asking there?]
Uhm!
[Tilting her head thoughtfully, Aerith taps her fingertips against her cup.]
It... wasn't planned. At all. I think we both kind of thought we were kidding? And then at some point, it wasn't... kidding anymore. And by the time we realised that, things had already happened, things were already happening, and that was... that?
[Knitting her eyebrows together, Aerith shakes her head, clearing her throat a tad.] I think what really happened was that we're very alike in some ways and we tease. I called his bluff. He... was probably calling mine. It definitely wasn't like a child's storybook. That's for sure.
no subject
That's how it goes, isn't it...
[Briefly, she also wonders if this is just a symptom of being in a place like this. Where things just happen.]
One second, you aren't and the next, you are, and neither of you really know how it happened or when.
[Why is she being so cryptic? This is dumb, but finding the words to bring it up is still proving more difficult than she planned. Tifa wants to tell Aerith, and wants to share some good news with her after that...]
We can't help it, I guess. You find someone you click with and it all just falls into place.
no subject
It is what it is. I try to overthink it sometimes and I guess I can't do that with everything.
[She leans over from where she's seated to put her cup down in favour of reaching for some of the food from the tray she's minimally prepared.]
It'd be great to think we were in control of everything, but that's not very realistic, I don't think. Besides, if we could control everything, including who we clicked with or who we didn't click with, it wouldn't be as much an adventure. We can't have the answers to everything, after all.
[The other part is that if they did know who they were going to click with, it'd be too easy to try and fight that. Even without knowing how things would go with her and Balthier, she still tried to fight it. She would have fought even harder if she'd known about it from the beginning.]
no subject
All that advice that she spouted at Aerith, and not even she could handle listening to it herself sometimes.
But that's enough thinking about that. Leaning forward slightly, Tifa curls her knees up to her chest, and her chin rests on top of them, and she stares at Aerith from across the couch.
They did all of this to have a girl's night in, and so that's exactly what it's going to be, all of her doubts and reservations be damned.]
Reason I asked was... I met someone...
no subject
Hearing it somewhat confirmed only tickles her curiosity.]
Go onnnnn. What are they like? Anyone I know? Cute? Funny? Come on, you know I need all the details.
[Because she's also suspecting it very much isn't Cloud.]
no subject
Of course, all of Aerith's guesses draw an embarrassing snort of laughter out of her that she drowns in some cheese, pausing to chew for a bit of a dramatic effect and suspense, but also to find the right words to describe him. Only to realize... there are no words to properly describe someone like Eustace, who reminds her so much of Cloud... but it feels silly to make that comparison now.]
I don't think you know him, but... uh...
[God, this is... becoming harder than she thought it would be. This should have been so easy—Aerith is her best friend! Or maybe that's why it's so difficult. Of all of the people in any world, she seeks her approval the most.]
You don't know a Eustace, do you? Little bit aloof, lone wolf type... [She raises her hands to her head to mimic a pair of ears, and the colour in her cheeks darkens.] Has a set of wolf ears...
[This seems like the easiest place to start. If she does know him, then great! If not, then... well, at least she has a few more seconds of leeway.]
no subject
[Given the description given, Aerith would remember a young man with wolf ears. There's been no exact shortage of uncommon physical accents on people. Fenton comes to mind immediately, though he's a bit more on the extreme side of things, she supposes. Science duck? Man with wolf ears? These two things may not be best suited for comparison.
The rest of what she says, however, tells Aerith that Tifa has a type. She doesn't say this. Doesn't feel like that's the most sensitive thing to say, but that seems to be the way of it. Tifa does things with intention, and as such, it can't be uncanny coincidence.]
No. I definitely don't know anyone with that name. Or the wolf ear thing.
[After a moment's consideration, her head tips.]
This a serious thing?
no subject
That's the thing...
[Is it? She'd like to think so, but there was something else to consider on top of all of that. Something in common that loomed over them all in this place that she can't quite seem to shake off.]
I guess that's why I asked about you and Balthier. Everything here is so temporary, so... I don't know.
[She rolls her shoulders in a small, almost defeated shrug.]
I think so... I'd like it to be, but I guess that's something we all have to keep in mind.
no subject
"Everything here is so temporary."
Aerith feels her chest tighten. She feels that intensely. More than she'd like to. There's no getting away from it. Even in moments when she's pretending that she's not overthinking that very point, it's always there—a nagging voice in the back of her mind. She is reminded constantly that she can't allow herself to be completely taken in by this... charade of a 'domesticated' life. It won't come true.
It doesn't surprise her at all to know that Tifa feels something similar. At least, so it would seem she does. For several moments, she isn't sure how to respond to that, but a quiet sip of her cocoa and a clear of the throat later, and Aerith is ready to attempt tackling this challenge.]
If it's something you want, don't you owe it to yourself to chase after it? If you hold yourself back from the things you want, it's not really living. I don't think this is something that would hurt other people, so it'd be hard for me to tell you not to do it. After all, I want you to be happy. Who says you have to be in Midgard to be happy?
[She shakes her head.] If you feel strongly for this guy, make sure he knows it. Own it.
no subject
That's exactly what I told you to do, huh...?
[The words echo loud and clear in her head, as if it was only yesterday that she was begging Aerith to do the same. To find happiness regardless of how short their time might be here, because it was what she deserved. That they would be wasting away their days if they sat and thought about how fickle the world can be... It's easier said than done when she doesn't have to worry about it—Tifa knew that all of the people most important to her would be there when she returned home. Cloud, Aerith, Red, and Barret... They would be at her side as if nothing changed.
But now?
She thinks she can understand—even just a little bit—what Aerith was feeling.]
I'll try... [There's a beat of silence that follows, and Tifa sips on her cocoa.] It's a little scary.
no subject
[Which is true. Tifa's reassuring has continued to stay in Aerith's mind. She's had to keep it there because every time she starts to think about closing herself off again, she knows it wouldn't take much for her to withdraw. And that would... do absolutely no one any good. It's not easy. Every single day it's a struggle, and Aerith suspects Tifa gets that, too.]
And you're right. It is scary. But... think about it this way.
[Aerith motions between the two of them.] You've got me. You don't have to go through this alone, especially since we're both kind of going through the same thing. [Misery loves company or something like it, though she wouldn't describe anything about her relationship with Balthier as particularly misery-inducing.]
Besides, I've got to meet this guy and make sure that he meets my standards, you know.