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[The delay doesn't bother Kainé in the least. Even on the best of days, Tifa is a busy lady, and with something like this on her shoulders?
Yeah. She can take all the time she damn well wants.
Her own response comes fairly quickly, regardless. There's no pressure for Tifa to say anything more than she wants to, but Kainé knows better than to accept an 'I'm fine' at face value from her.]
You're not fine.
You don't have to tell me anything you don't want, but I know that much. You're not fine, and that's okay. You don't have to be. Nobody would expect you to.
Yeah. She can take all the time she damn well wants.
Her own response comes fairly quickly, regardless. There's no pressure for Tifa to say anything more than she wants to, but Kainé knows better than to accept an 'I'm fine' at face value from her.]
You're not fine.
You don't have to tell me anything you don't want, but I know that much. You're not fine, and that's okay. You don't have to be. Nobody would expect you to.
["Nobody would expect you to."
Words that she wants to believe with all her heart, but Tifa is the survivor. The one who perseveres to be stronger for everyone else. She's exhausted, but she can't let up. Or at least, that's how she feels. She feels like she has to be okay, not for herself, but for everyone around her...
But hearing that being said to her, having someone brave enough to tell her and remind her that she shouldn't have to be... it hits.]
Feels the opposite, to be honest... I don't know what I should be doing right now.
Words that she wants to believe with all her heart, but Tifa is the survivor. The one who perseveres to be stronger for everyone else. She's exhausted, but she can't let up. Or at least, that's how she feels. She feels like she has to be okay, not for herself, but for everyone around her...
But hearing that being said to her, having someone brave enough to tell her and remind her that she shouldn't have to be... it hits.]
Feels the opposite, to be honest... I don't know what I should be doing right now.
Yeah, I bet it does. I know how you think. You wanna be strong for everyone else, right?
[It's such a Tifa way to look at things, and while Kainé certainly admires her perseverance, she's learned a little something about self-care during her time here. Not a lot, mind you, but enough.]
Sometimes you have to put your own damn self first.
What do you WANT to do?
[It's such a Tifa way to look at things, and while Kainé certainly admires her perseverance, she's learned a little something about self-care during her time here. Not a lot, mind you, but enough.]
Sometimes you have to put your own damn self first.
What do you WANT to do?
[She's feeling very Called Out right now, but she can't even be upset about it because she's right. That's exactly what she's trying to do, and she's exhausting herself in the process. Anyone who has seen her in the past few days can attest to that.]
I
[There's a blotch on the journal where her quill sits for some time after that, before the words begin to appear.]
don't know.
[This may be the first time she's admitting that to anyone, and the next words are penned a little more frantically.]
I don't know. I feel like there's so much I should be doing that I haven't thought about what I wanted.
I
[There's a blotch on the journal where her quill sits for some time after that, before the words begin to appear.]
don't know.
[This may be the first time she's admitting that to anyone, and the next words are penned a little more frantically.]
I don't know. I feel like there's so much I should be doing that I haven't thought about what I wanted.
[What are friends for if not to call you out when you need it, huh?
Kainé stares at that blotch without adding anything of her own, waiting for it to become something more. If Tifa needs time to think, so be it.]
Our reasoning is different, but I might know better than anyone what it's like not to think about what you want for yourself. Hard to learn how to do. I'm still figuring it out. Maybe it's time you do, too.
What happened isn't something you can just blow off and pretend to be okay with. It's okay to feel shit. You deserve that much, at least. The chance to be honest with yourself.
Kainé stares at that blotch without adding anything of her own, waiting for it to become something more. If Tifa needs time to think, so be it.]
Our reasoning is different, but I might know better than anyone what it's like not to think about what you want for yourself. Hard to learn how to do. I'm still figuring it out. Maybe it's time you do, too.
What happened isn't something you can just blow off and pretend to be okay with. It's okay to feel shit. You deserve that much, at least. The chance to be honest with yourself.
I feel
[And another little stain on the paper, a black dot that grows as the ink sits.]
guilty. Like I was the one who put everyone in danger.
[And another little stain on the paper, a black dot that grows as the ink sits.]
guilty. Like I was the one who put everyone in danger.
I couldn't even fight back...
Do you remember the curse from a few months back? In that dreamscape where we all had to be Montagues or Capulets?
Do you remember the curse from a few months back? In that dreamscape where we all had to be Montagues or Capulets?
[It admittedly took her a little while to happen to run across Tifa's number. With the whole bounty-hunter thing, and her job (which she theoretically was doing most days. Bah, responsibilities.), she had been a bit busy lately. But remembering her from the geta competition, she'd been curious to see how the bartender was doing.]
Hey, it's Tenshi. From the other day. Didn't see you in the rolls over at Tamamo, so I'm guessing you're with one of the other outfits? here's hoping you got lucky and it's not Shuten, heh.
Nah, they're not THAT bad. But I like messing with them.
Hey, it's Tenshi. From the other day. Didn't see you in the rolls over at Tamamo, so I'm guessing you're with one of the other outfits? here's hoping you got lucky and it's not Shuten, heh.
Nah, they're not THAT bad. But I like messing with them.
Edited (stupid html) 2022-09-21 17:12 (UTC)
[The last thing that Tifa wants to do is burden her with any of this information, but...
She was kind enough to reach out to her. It's the least she could do to at least share with her what happened. Maybe get an outsider's perspective on it all.]
Well... Eustace was cast as Romeo and I was Juliet. There was that curse... the lindwurm curse, and back then he ended up killing me in that dream.
We went out to the Cliffsides on that day to look for Dawn Flowers when I came across three of them. Lindwurms, and when I froze, they attacked.
She was kind enough to reach out to her. It's the least she could do to at least share with her what happened. Maybe get an outsider's perspective on it all.]
Well... Eustace was cast as Romeo and I was Juliet. There was that curse... the lindwurm curse, and back then he ended up killing me in that dream.
We went out to the Cliffsides on that day to look for Dawn Flowers when I came across three of them. Lindwurms, and when I froze, they attacked.
[Ah, Tenshi! Tifa smiles to herself, and it'll be clear in her voice when she greets her back.]
Sutoku, actually! Which... not sure if that's lucky or not, but it hasn't been that bad so far. Everyone seems really nice.
Sutoku, actually! Which... not sure if that's lucky or not, but it hasn't been that bad so far. Everyone seems really nice.
[She laughed a little. The fact that Tifa sounded pleased was a good sign at least.]
It could have been a whole lot worse, trust me. I know a few folks over in the Sutoku, and they're alright. Most people don't care too much about the rivalries until we actually have to, and it's been peaceful for a bit.
It could have been a whole lot worse, trust me. I know a few folks over in the Sutoku, and they're alright. Most people don't care too much about the rivalries until we actually have to, and it's been peaceful for a bit.
Rivalries? I've heard some people talking about them, but seems a lot don't really like to... Hopefully it's not between people like us?
[Hoo boy. Ok, she could buy the new ones not realizing, but it felt like a really good idea to make sure Tifa was aware, before one of these days the orders came from the top...]
So, you should definitely know this. Everything's all smiles right now, and there's a truce with the three of our gangs working together, but the Sutoku, Tamamo and Shuten are just that. Gangs. When I first got here? There was a war going down between the Shuten and Tamamo. We weren't fighting up top in the streets, so we could be nice to each other where everyone was working. But that pleasure palace they built down below? The turf it's in was turf we were actually fighting over. Like, bats, swords, magic spells, traps. It got ugly.
Far as I know nobody actually died. They've got some pretty impressive ways to patch you up around here, but that's not to say it can't happen. These three've got some history, and one of these days? It'll get ugly again.
[There was a momentary pause and she sighed.]
You know, this bounty hunter business'll probably get a little ugly, come to think of it. It's a lot of money. I don't actually care. Promise. It's not personal with me, and I've got a lot of friends in Sutoku, and I might have a few in Shuten I actually like. There's a bunch of folks I know who are the same way. They do what they're told, and they avoid fights, but if things boil over, orders are orders. Just, you know, for your own sake? Just remember that one of these days, the brass might give you an order to fight.
...
I'll promise to warn you away first if it happens. I don't pick fights unless it's fun for both of us [Her world was weird] or I really really don't like someone. So I'll give you a heads up if something happens.
So, you should definitely know this. Everything's all smiles right now, and there's a truce with the three of our gangs working together, but the Sutoku, Tamamo and Shuten are just that. Gangs. When I first got here? There was a war going down between the Shuten and Tamamo. We weren't fighting up top in the streets, so we could be nice to each other where everyone was working. But that pleasure palace they built down below? The turf it's in was turf we were actually fighting over. Like, bats, swords, magic spells, traps. It got ugly.
Far as I know nobody actually died. They've got some pretty impressive ways to patch you up around here, but that's not to say it can't happen. These three've got some history, and one of these days? It'll get ugly again.
[There was a momentary pause and she sighed.]
You know, this bounty hunter business'll probably get a little ugly, come to think of it. It's a lot of money. I don't actually care. Promise. It's not personal with me, and I've got a lot of friends in Sutoku, and I might have a few in Shuten I actually like. There's a bunch of folks I know who are the same way. They do what they're told, and they avoid fights, but if things boil over, orders are orders. Just, you know, for your own sake? Just remember that one of these days, the brass might give you an order to fight.
...
I'll promise to warn you away first if it happens. I don't pick fights unless it's fun for both of us [Her world was weird] or I really really don't like someone. So I'll give you a heads up if something happens.
[That's a lot to take in, but she appreciates the information at the very least. A lot of it was something that people neglected to really tell her. Some like to sugarcoat things around here, it sounds like... or just refuse to talk about it at all.
Or... maybe she just wasn't asking the right questions.]
And if people don't follow the orders?
[She isn't exactly keen on fighting people if she doesn't have to...]
Or... maybe she just wasn't asking the right questions.]
And if people don't follow the orders?
[She isn't exactly keen on fighting people if she doesn't have to...]
... I don't know.
[Well, this was a little uncomfortable, but the truth was the truth, and Tenshi was really not sure on this, which said a lot since she was actually an officer of sorts in the Tamamo. It just hadn't come up. Of course, the kitsune in charge wisely didn't send them into areas where they were likely to disobey usually, but the possibility existed.]
Nobody really tries to disobey much. They go with the flow. If they end up fighting and they actually like the person? They probably set it up so there's an out, a way they can escape even if they still 'lose.' I've never seen anyone disobey big orders.
Of course, there was that time the guy in charge of the Shuten threatened to execute someone publicly if they didn't make good on their word. But that's how oni are. Never lie to them. Never cheat them. Never make a deal you can't go through with. Or they lose their shit. He didn't execute him, though. The guy actually came through on that promise, which is why we're in a truce right now.
[Well, this was a little uncomfortable, but the truth was the truth, and Tenshi was really not sure on this, which said a lot since she was actually an officer of sorts in the Tamamo. It just hadn't come up. Of course, the kitsune in charge wisely didn't send them into areas where they were likely to disobey usually, but the possibility existed.]
Nobody really tries to disobey much. They go with the flow. If they end up fighting and they actually like the person? They probably set it up so there's an out, a way they can escape even if they still 'lose.' I've never seen anyone disobey big orders.
Of course, there was that time the guy in charge of the Shuten threatened to execute someone publicly if they didn't make good on their word. But that's how oni are. Never lie to them. Never cheat them. Never make a deal you can't go through with. Or they lose their shit. He didn't execute him, though. The guy actually came through on that promise, which is why we're in a truce right now.
Yeah. I don't know why I froze the way I did, but they managed to take me down for it. If it weren't for that necklace and that glass pendant, I don't know if I would've survived it.
I guess that was enough to push Eustace over the edge. When he found me, the last thing I remember seeing before I blacked out was red eyes. Next thing I knew, I was waking up inside ice in this cave.
I guess that was enough to push Eustace over the edge. When he found me, the last thing I remember seeing before I blacked out was red eyes. Next thing I knew, I was waking up inside ice in this cave.
Shit like that can be hard to explain. Moments where we feel like we should’ve been better or faster, shouldn’t have frozen. The kind of thing you and I are bound to beat ourselves up about, but it’s gotta be more complex than even we know. Glad you DID survive it.
The hell was he doing? Trying to protect you? Some twisted version of it, anyway. Noctaere shit twists everything up.
The hell was he doing? Trying to protect you? Some twisted version of it, anyway. Noctaere shit twists everything up.
Yeah. I guess in his head, he thought that maybe it would save me. In a way, it kind of did.
[She might not have made it if he hadn't thought to freeze her like that, but she's right. Noctaere shit does twist everything up. Which makes her wonder...]
Have you ever seen one before? A noctaere, I mean... or a version of someone else?
[She might not have made it if he hadn't thought to freeze her like that, but she's right. Noctaere shit does twist everything up. Which makes her wonder...]
Have you ever seen one before? A noctaere, I mean... or a version of someone else?
Yeah, I have.
[The memory has stuck with her ever since. She and 76 had done a lot of damage to one another during that encounter, but more importantly, the experience had showed them how they were alike— how they could help one another.]
Awhile back, 76 changed. Found him while he was out hunting. It got ugly. Changed him, too. That thing is always gonna be a part of him. Could be the same for Eustace, but 76 has a good handle on it. He could do the same.
[The memory has stuck with her ever since. She and 76 had done a lot of damage to one another during that encounter, but more importantly, the experience had showed them how they were alike— how they could help one another.]
Awhile back, 76 changed. Found him while he was out hunting. It got ugly. Changed him, too. That thing is always gonna be a part of him. Could be the same for Eustace, but 76 has a good handle on it. He could do the same.
[She had no idea that even happened to 76, and for a brief moment, she wonders how much of it is even her business, but maybe... maybe this is good... Tifa only has her own experience to go off of, so maybe hearing about someone else's will help her get over whatever this guilty hurdle of hers is.]
What happened to you both, if you don't mind me asking?
What happened to you both, if you don't mind me asking?
We fought, mostly. That thing he became was a real asshole, gloating about how it wasn't going to let him out again. I don't know what it was that finally brought him back. I hate retreating, but I didn't have a choice by the end. We found each other and talked later once it was done.
I know what it's like to have something inside you dying to get out. Told him you just had to tell whatever it was to fuck off and then hold onto what's yours as hard as you can. If it's the same for Eustace, I'm betting he's stubborn enough to pull it off.
I know what it's like to have something inside you dying to get out. Told him you just had to tell whatever it was to fuck off and then hold onto what's yours as hard as you can. If it's the same for Eustace, I'm betting he's stubborn enough to pull it off.
I hope so. I'll have to tell him that.
[It's a nice sentiment to remember, at the very least. Something that maybe he'll need to hear.]
It was the same for him, too. Every time it opened its mouth, it talked about how that was who he is now. Or who he's always been and was going to be. I can't imagine it's easy to just ignore the voice that keeps telling them that too.
[It's a nice sentiment to remember, at the very least. Something that maybe he'll need to hear.]
It was the same for him, too. Every time it opened its mouth, it talked about how that was who he is now. Or who he's always been and was going to be. I can't imagine it's easy to just ignore the voice that keeps telling them that too.
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